I finally saw this for what it was when my increasing
desire to heal my heart lead me to the discovery of information about
Art Therapy. Here my passion for art was re-ignited. With it, I found a
new career path, and the hope that through art I could be healed and
become wholehearted again.
I had a direction, a focus, and perhaps even a sense of purpose.
Once enrolled again in college, I was fortunate to have the opportunity
to take an undergraduate art therapy class. The semester I took this
course, I consistently created more artwork than I had since I was a
child when my inner critic was barely present. Art was fun and free
again, while also almost a daily experience.
the intention to heal through art making I was inspired to explore
abstract painting using a method similar to my father’s. His death when I
was a child was another weight on my heart and I hoped I might better
understand who he was by employing his style of painting. I chose
acrylic paint rather than oil as my medium. I began as I remembered from
watching him paint, with a wash of color followed by blotting to remove
areas of pigment. I then used a pallet knife, for the first time, to
apply other colors in geometric strokes resembling his painting style. A
whole new world opened up to me within minutes. Suddenly I wasn’t
imitating my father’s painting style I was uncovering my own.
abstract painting, I had found a way to express my feelings and myself
with a freedom and joy I had only experienced before in dance. Since the
creation of my first abstract, my understanding of this and my painting
style have evolved. Time had already somewhat healed the depth of the
wound in my heart from the loss of my ballet dreams. The heartache I had
continued to carry with me was not as much about this loss as it was
about self-expression and having lost an outlet to freely express
During this discovery of a
creative outlet for expressing my inner movements and finding my
creative voice, an epiphany came to me. In a moment of peaceful clarity
and wonder, I saw that “All of life is a dance!” and how I move with it
is what makes all the difference. I also came to recognize, through this
perspective, that the end of my ballet career was really the beginning
of my journey to fully dancing with life.
some of my dance steps are with paint and pallet knife and sharing
these creations. Other steps of my dance are my desire to be of service,
through assisting other people to become wholehearted and fill their
lives with dances of joy. I am in awe and wonder and deeply grateful for
the opportunities to follow this dance, a continual work in progress.
I invite you to join “The Dance,” to celebrate your life in all of its movements, and to step into experiences that bring you your greatest joy.